Hotel Sheets

The lights were dim,Our friends asleep.We were under the covers,Buried down deep.I can still smell the bleach,In the hotel sheets.And I can still remember the pounding,Of both of our heartbeats.Our feet met for a moment,A undeniable spark.So we moved them back together,And that was only the start.Together we slid our hands,Until they touched.My hand was …

Damaged

I am always smiling, because I'm good at hiding my secrets. I am always smiling. Always looking happy. I make people laugh. I am wanted to be around. I have so many friends and people that love me. I am seen as a pretty girl with a great sense of humor. Although, I am damaged. …

I’m Still Here

I fell asleep. I felt safe. I was drinking. Fell asleep. On my couch. In my home. My husband went to bed. You were there. My husband's coworker. Fucking watching. Fucking waiting. I woke up. My pants pushed down. You were behind me. One arm around my neck. One arm around my chest. You were …

Soulmates

Are we truly born to meet one person to share our life with? Switching it up tonight by talking about something not completely depressing and fucked up. Tonight I'm here thinking... Maybe in this world we have more than one person we are supposed to connect deeply with. Maybe it's a past life thing, like …

Sometimes I Drive

Some days I wake up feeling okay. I am productive and genuinely fucking happy. Then out of nowhere... it hits. Depression. Depression is like standing alone in a gray fog of nothingness, in the middle of nowhere, and suddenly being hit by a semi. I can go from feeling on top of the world to …

Friday the Fucking Thirteenth

Maybe it's because of the trifecta today (Full moon, harvest moon, & Friday the thirteenth) that I feel extreme anxiety. Or maybe it's just me. No... it's definitely just me. Although, I do believe that the fucking moon cycles do not help and damn I'm feeling it tonight. Maybe you're reading this on your screen …

From the Beginning

So, here you are again. Reading my writing and personal thoughts. Now that I somehow turned you onto this... I'll start from the beginning. It's a bit depressing, growing up fat. Well... obese. There. Fucking said it. I had always been the fat kid. Never the first picked for anything. Always the odd one out. …

Who is Hal?

Hal... what a person she is. But who the fuck is she? Well... here is the list. The list of all the great, good, and shitty things that make her... Me. Artistic. A cheater. A good liar (not great). Compassionate. Loving. Organized. Bulimic. Anxiety-ridden. Funny. Outgoing. Depressed. Rebellious. Desperate. Smart. A wife. Athletic. Singer (also …

You can call me Hal

Who am I? What makes me... fucked up... yet seemingly perfect. How do others see me? More importantly, how do I see myself? Today, I start this fucked up biography, diary, and documentation of this life. Sitting behind this computer, currently listening to the crickets joyfully chirping outside my window, I am thinking how to …