Tonight doesn’t feel like a poetry kind of night…
It feels like a thinking/venting night and fuck… have I been thinking and wanting to vent it out. This week… lord has it been a week. Honestly… it’s been a beautiful disaster of a seven day stretch and I feel as if I’ve somehow done a year’s worth of learning/growing.
First, I lost my best friend (and that basically shattered me). Second, my biggest/worst fucking secret in the world, which I held precariously for years, came to light (and that turned my shatters into dust). Third, the secret ended up not being a secret like I thought (and then complete confusion consumed my said dust particles). Fourth… I learned not to tell my secrets to anyone besides my fucking cats (who don’t know more than ten words of fucking English anyways).
So I’ll break it down into a cute little list of things I learned and discovered this week:
- Sometimes I have to be strong for just myself (not others).
- What is meant to be is what is meant to be (good or not).
- I cannot change the past (no matter how hard I think I can).
- Time machines are not a fucking real thing (thanks Google for the unrealistic blueprints).
- Secrets always come out (no matter what you do to hide the trails).
- Don’t drink alcohol and tell those secrets (then those secrets are then just general information).
- Don’t get a low blood sugar at work from skipping meals (you will get sick at work, look really dumb, and have eight co-worker nurses stabbing you with needles).
- I really really really miss my best friend (A LOT).
- My cats are the most adorable things on the planet (besides otters… I really love otters).
- I’m going to grow up and be a recluse cat lady (95% likely).
All in all, it’s been a depressing yet gratifying week. Although, I would have appreciated all these events to be in separate weeks… but maybe next time.
P.S. Thank you everyone for keeping me going this week with all the positive comments and love. It means more than you can imagine. ❤ Hal