So sometimes I have REALLY odd patients at work… but this week’s beat them all.
Imagine a seventy year old schizophrenic hobbit lady that hoards garbage, has no teeth, long nails caked underneath with an unknown filth, and is covered with cat shit. Literally. She was found by family at her house laying on the floor and covered with poop from her thirty cats. Seriously. (I did make sure animal control took the cats btw). So there I am with this mean, screaming, punching, hobbit creature in my care and I’m thinking it can’t get worse. Nope. I was fucking wrong.
In walks her family (daughter and son-in-law) looking like actors from the ‘Hills Have Eyes’. Basically like swamp people that have been inbreeding for a hundred years and their DNA had just been scrambled by this point. Literally no one in this family had teeth. The whole family just had these creepy, blank, toothless smiles that fucking gave me goosebumps. Anyways, so I’m explaining to the son-in-law that I needed to get a sample from his mother-in-law for a test and the dude says, “She’s not my mom… she’s my girlfriend”. (This is after I just saw him kissing the patient’s fucking daughter in the hallway btw.) I must have made my confused “what the fuck is happening” face because he began informing me about his relationships. He explains how he loves them both and sometimes he fucks the schizo hobbit patient… and sometimes he fucks the schizo hobbit’s daughter… and sometimes they all fuck in all their grossness together… and then I puked in my mouth. He just stands there after this revolting story with his blank, toothless smile waiting for a response. Completely horrified I say, “Well… I’m glad you all get along together” before quickly getting the fuck out of there and ending my shift.
And now… I’m sitting here on my day off… and for the life of me I can’t get the image of the ‘Hills Have Eyes’ incest family fucking together in a hoarding house filled with thirty cats…
Sounds delightful ๐คช๐ค
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๐คฎ
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Quite an experience you had today…with that family. Creepy…
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I meet some really weird people at my job….
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I can imagine. I was also once patient for not so long time back ๐๐
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๐ ๐
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lmaoooooooooooo I missed you so much. first time I come back after weeks and this is how you greet me!
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LMFAO!! I missed you too!!!!! ๐โค๏ธ
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Omg, Iโm so sorry you had to go through that ๐
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Yeah me too lol!!! Weird people….. ๐คฎ
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Oh,
My,
Fucking,
God,
What a job, and life, you have! That is unbelievable! An actual inbred family!? And were you thinking of the ‘inbred swamp people’ before that revelation?
I’ve been meaning to follow you for agesโ I swear I did so on the day I saw your post about the pile-upโ I didn’t get around to reading it at the time, but thought I had followed at least! I’ve not had much time to devote to reading lately, anyway. Each time I’ve looked at your blog so far, it’s been extremely dramatic!
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Yeah like legit. I think you were following me lol! Maybe you whacked it again or something. ๐ My life is dramatic sometimes lol… ๐
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Yep I probably did! Thanks!
It certainly is that…๐ . ๐
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Haha!! No worries! I still love ya โค๏ธ
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Oops that was gross! You had a lot of patience towards that patient ๐ณโจ
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Uhhh yes… Yes I did. ๐
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You know you need to write this book – itโs so disturbing and scary – Stephen King – but itโs real. Arrrrrgh far out Hal that is going to sit in my head all day!
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๐ lol Thank you!!!!!!!. Sorry about the mental image ๐
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๐๐
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๐คฎ๐
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Quite a strange experience to have. Thankfully, I am not a Doctor.. ๐
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OMFG! This is hilarious and gross at the same time. Anyway let me just say that I love the way you write, so much honesty I literally feel like I experienced it myself. I’m sorry you had to go through this I can’t even imagine it.
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Haha Thank you!!! Glad I could make you laugh and cringe ๐๐
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You’re definitely a funny one
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I’m something all right lol
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