Truth #19

Last night I went barhopping/dancing in downtown Minneapolis during the midst of this pandemic. Pretty fucking sure I came eye to eye with COVID-19… multiple times.

Guess I’ll find out in 10-12 days…
😳


Truth #18

Just went to Home Depot in search of toilet paper because I literally only have a few fucking rolls left at my house.

They didn’t have any so I bought a grande sized package of paper towel and some pieces of wood…

I got the paper towel just in case I become desperate and the wood was to distract people from thinking I’m hoarding paper products….

Its oak… might make a fucking table with it this month. 😁

Truth #17

Today I was really hungry and work… and I saw a unopened take out box in the break room fridge…. I fucking ate it. Now I’m scared that I just gave myself fucking food poisoning. 🤮

Or Coronavirus…. ✌️

Truth #16

I can’t leave homeless people alone.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m a naive small town girl without many homeless people… or if I’m just stupid, but I cannot just walk past homeless people (especially when drinking). I go to Minneapolis a lot… and it’s like fucking homeless central there. I get nagged by my friends constantly to leave people on the sidewalk alone… but I feel so sad seeing them there and either need to give them a few bucks, some food, or a hug. I honestly don’t care why they’re homeless, I just care about everyone’s well-being.

Deep down I know my friends are fucking right and I could end up robbed, kidnapped, dead, or with lice… but I guess I just have faith that if I’m doing the right thing I’ll be okay. 😁

Truth #15

Last September, I drunkenly made a time capsule one night when my kitchen was being remodeled. I filled a box with random stuff, pictures, and a note with probably too much personal information (basically everything about me minus my social security number). I secretly hid it in the insulation of a wall before my contractor closed it up.

I’m still deciding if this was a great idea… or a fucking fire hazard…

It’s probably just a fire hazard though. 🙂

Truth #14

One night a few years ago, after I had lost about a hundred pounds, I was standing naked in front of the mirror. I was doing something and I caught a glimpse of something on my back… I automatically thought it was a fucking wood tick and screamed. I hate fucking ticks.

So, my mom comes in (I’m still naked) and she’s like wtf is wrong?! and I yell “there’s a fucking tick on my back!” So she’s looks at my back…

It was a fucking large freckle.

This was the moment I had lost enough weight to finally see an undiscovered freckle on my back. Now that’s all I can think of when I see it.

You’re welcome for this story. 😉

Truth #13

The words, “still I rise” are tattooed in cursive down my arm.

I got this tattoo after the whole… Rapey thing. I touch it whenever something happens that brings me down. It helps me remember to always get back up and to keep moving forward no matter what shit gets tossed my way.

Here it is ❤️

Truth #11

I spent three weeks last year looking like a zombie.

So… over the last few years I regrettingly got into this binge-purge cycle. Sometimes it was daily and sometimes I’d go months without doing it. I never did it to lose weight, but to be able to eat things I missed and somehow maintain my weight. I was basically completely fucking desperate not to gain weight, but still had moments of eating compulsion which I would instantly regret, fixate on, and get it out.

So, last year I ended up gagging myself so hard that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. The ENTIRE white of my eye was blood red and I looked like a fucking zombie. I told everyone it was from weightlifting, but in reality I had done it to myself. It was horrifying to see what I was doing was actually causing injury. It was also horrifying having to spend three weeks scaring people (and myself honestly) shitless just by making eye contact.

However horrible that situation was, my fucked up zombie eye instantly cured my desire to ever ‘purge it out’ again. I love my eyes and the thought of not being able to show them off scared me straight.

P.S. Don’t wear sunglasses in Walmart… You’re going to look super fucking shady and you will bump into practically everything… 🙂

Truth #10

My biggest fear is gaining back any of the weight that I lost.

I’ve lost 140lbs naturally over about three years and gaining even a few pounds now makes me spiral. I know I’ll never allow myself to get to that point again, but the fear is still there.

I would be fucking sadder than shit if I couldn’t wear my new sexy clothes anymore. 🙂

Truth #9

I have a scrapbook full of obituaries of all the people I’ve taken care of over the years.

These are obituaries I saved of people (from my jobs at the assisted living and hospital) that I feel like made a difference in my life. I open it up occasionally to remember the impact these people had on me.

There’s about fifty so far.