I feel her slowly creeping in like a snake in the grass... Ready to make her arrival. Ready to take back this body. And ready to constrict this unmedicated and vulnerable version of me...
Some nights the serotonin is just depleted... Leaving the mind to wallow in some bullshit self-retreat... And it's a lonely night long shamble... Known to me as camp self-defeat.
Please put those hands of yours upon me... And touch me the way that always lulls the pain inside of me...
If you're willing to drink from what the devil's been sipping... Then maybe you'll figure out what the hell I've been thinking...
Fragments of myself have been hovering, Suspended above me in my own abyss of isolation. And all this time I've been trying so hard to grab ahold of them, Repeatedly reaching out in acts of desperation. But every time I grasped to catch them... My own touch had just pushed them farther away.
Over time my flaws and faults seemed to overpower any and all ofmy strengths and successes... And I began to feel hopelessly outnumbered by myself.
I have used my past to validate my actions. I have used my faults to excuse my circumstances. I have used my traumas to justify my mistakes. But now I must use my time to face my reality... And no longer dwell on things I cannot change.
When the pain comes...I feel it out,I cry it out,I vent it out,I purge it out,I bleed it out,I try everything to get it out.Because if I let it stay,I will never be fucking okay.
I was out on the dock Of the lake one night. I thought I was alone But you just weren't in my sight. With your hand around my neck You swiftly struck out my light. Then you tied the rope To the cinder block so tight. And you pushed me over the edge Without me … Continue reading Awakening
You've been searching, though rubble from your past. Just digging to find a reason, to make your life last. You'll need to look skyward, if you want to find hope. Because looking back at those memories, will send you straight to a rope.