Dark circles mark another night without rest. Another night with dreams too lucid and nightmares too obscene. Another night with a mind restless and writhing in every position. Another night with blankets in a choke-hold until light overcomes the curtains. Another night gone... And marked solely without rest.
I know those windows face the South... And somewhere beyond them is you.
Sun-bleached boards and weathered planks parted those sandy dunes... And they carried the thoughts and solemn footsteps... That once belonged to me and you.
I look back and remember how carefully and delicately I placed all these photographs in these cheap Tjmaxx frames... Three pristine prints in complete symmetry. The glass free of hairs... stubborn dust... and my fingerprint smears... Hanging in unison perfectly. But now... Now I can't even look at them long enough to take them apart.
There it is... The inevitable feeling of constriction and suffocation from nothing more than my own intrusive thoughts... I almost missed it.
Absently she peers into a memory, with empty eyes and an eyebrow arched... Stubbornly lost in the same thoughts... That never went away.
Maybe tomorrow doesn't come and you lose the chance to know me... I'll become just another face in a crowd of anonymity...
The glass of the picture frame reflects the face of a girl I just don't recognize... Not this way... Not tonight.
I feel her slowly creeping in like a snake in the grass... Ready to make her arrival. Ready to take back this body. And ready to constrict this unmedicated and vulnerable version of me...
My naviety? My naivety was drowned throughout the years by alcohol induced decisions and ignored inhibitions. My innocence was saturated by late nights with the wrong people and situations that soon became unspeakable. And as for my purity? That's easy... I just wasn't born with that.