Two Months

Last night my patient was told she had two months to live. Maybe more, maybe less…

She sat there listening to what the doctor had to say about her poor prognosis, tears building behind her eyes.

He tenderly answered her questions, leaving her no more further scenarios to ponder within her bald head.

He left. I stayed.

I handed her some tissues, helped dry her sunken face, and held her hand as we waited for her family’s return.

She then looked at me suddenly, grinning as she said, “Well… now I have a reason to get cable and sip my fucking margaritas right?”

And I giggled and replied, “Yes… I believe you fucking do”.

❤️🙌

I’ll Stay

I’ll hold your hand
when your family’s not here,
to comfort your death during
this quarantine my dear.

I know you don’t understand
what this lock-down has done,
you’re simply confused and scared
my sweet demented one.

But one visitor a day
is all that’s allowed,
and sadly you’ll get none
for the fear that surrounds.

So lay down your head
and close those tired eyes,
I’ll stay here with you
til your final goodbye.

Truth #23

I get the anxious sweats when someone wants to see travel pictures on my phone.

If someone happens to scroll through too many vacation pictures they’re either going to get view of: my obscene nursing memes, my decent nudes, or some really fucking adorable cat pictures.

This is basically how I like to play my own personal game of risk. 😁

Chapstick

I got called into my nursing supervisors office today…

So… there I am eating my chalky ass protein bar at the nurses station and my supervisor comes over and says, “I need to talk to you”. Fucking great right? So I go into her office sweaty as all fuck as she sits me down and says…”A patient is making complaints that you took her chapstick and refused to give it back”.

Fucking chapstick. I look at her, grinned, and said, “Uh yep”. I’m fucking telling you… the confusion on my bosses face was instant when I admitted to doing something so fucking odd. At this point, I reached into my pocket and give her the patient’s chapstick. She looks at it. She looks back at me. Then she says… “This is a Elmer’s glue stick”. And I’m like… “Yeah… You’re right”.

So then I explained to my boss that my dementia patient was literally using FUCKING GLUE on her mouth for God knows how fucking long because she thought it was chapstick. So hell yeah I took that shit away. I’m a great nurse. Therefore, I don’t let my confused patients put damn art supplies on their mouth. 😂

I fucking love my job. 😁