The second time I re-watched Netflix’s “13 Reasons Why” was with my rapist.
I literally sat down and watched a series (that graphically shows the horrifying results of rape and sexual abuse) with my rapist weeks before it happened to me.
That’s fucked up.
Last night my patient was told she had two months to live. Maybe more, maybe less…
She sat there listening to what the doctor had to say about her poor prognosis, tears building behind her eyes.
He tenderly answered her questions, leaving her no more further scenarios to ponder within her bald head.
He left. I stayed.
I handed her some tissues, helped dry her sunken face, and held her hand as we waited for her family’s return.
She then looked at me suddenly, grinning as she said, “Well… now I have a reason to get cable and sip my fucking margaritas right?”
And I giggled and replied, “Yes… I believe you fucking do”.
I completely suck at letting people go…
I self-sabotage myself from moving on from relationships in my life by replaying old memories, looking at photographs, and listening to music that was mutually loved.
Dwelling on my past friendships will do nothing to bring them back so why do I keep doing this to myself?!?! True friends will ultimately come back into my life (even if it takes fucking years) so I need to be patient and let fate take the wheel (however hard it may be).
Some people just aren’t meant to stay in our lives forever. People move on… and I need to work on moving on too.
My ex boyfriend moved in two doors down from me…
I invited him to come over this week to catch up/clear the air because mowing the lawn has never felt so fucking awkward for me.
When these lockdowns are over…
I’m really going to miss feeling like I’m part of some kind of rebellion every time I leave my house for work. 😁
You saw me
when I couldn’t see myself.
You adored me
when I thought I was unlovable.
You caught me
the second you saw me start to fall.
You saved me
when I thought I was unsalvageable.
So I will be here for you.
Not because I feel like I owe you…
but because I love you just as much.
When my legs fall asleep I like to see how fast I can walk.
I know… it’s a dangerous game and incidents can/do occur. 😉
I just did something that I thought I was never going to do…
I started watching Tiger King on Netflix…
And now I’ve become addicted. 🙄
There’s only been one time I’ve ever been happy that I was blackout drunk.
It was my infamous Vegas hotel room strip tease… on the first night… apparently in front of all my guy friends… wearing nothing but Spanx.
I’m really really really fucking glad I don’t remember trying to take off spandex all sexy like in front of them. I mean shit… those are horrible enough to try to take off sober…
I do feel bad that they remember it though… that was probably not the first strip show they wanted to see in Vegas. 😬🙄😂😂😂
I have a favorite bench at the lake that’s by my house.
It’s a beautiful stone bench that’s in memory of someone named Alexis and it’s in the most perfect spot, completely surrounded by water. I love to sit there alone with only my thoughts, the sun, and the serenity of the lake.
Last summer I secretly hung a wind chime in a tree next to my bench. I spent all winter wondering if it would still be there after the snow melted. I finally got to go to my bench today…
And it’s still hanging there. ❤️